I’m a pleaser.
I’m not sure if I’ve always been a pleaser, or if this is a new habit which has developed over the years and I’m just noticing it now.
When I’m in a group I almost always do what everyone else wants to do.
And maybe this is just my parents fault. I distinctly remember being taught something along the lines of: “Sometimes you get to pick what we have for dinner and sometimes somebody else gets to pick.” I grasped firmly onto that whole ” we all take turns and think of each other’s wants and needs and the world spins around in harmony” thing and ran with it.
Now that I’m living in the real world, on my own, I have realized that this is not true. Of course to a certain extent people are considerate. But it is really just a dog eat dog world these days. Everyone seems to do what they want, when they want, and where they want.
Is this a generational thing? Who knows.
Anyway getting to the point.
Today my friends needed to move all of their stuff out of their old apartment and clean it out top to bottom. I had nothing to do today and for some reason I decided I would offer to help. They took me up on it and thusly I spent from 11 am to 5 pm today cleaning out a dirty dusty apartment that I did not live in. I carried furniture. I mopped a floor. I sweat a lot in the 90 degree heat.
And they were very nice, they bought pizza and fed me free of charge. And they thanked me profusely. And that is all I ever wanted.
I really wanted to play the board game LIFE tonight. I went to Target and bought it. I told my friends and roommates of this purchase and they all agreed that they too would like to play LIFE with me tonight. We would make cocktails and play board games and enjoy each others company. And I was SO excited.
(This, while lame, is totally my idea of a PERFECT night.)
So I sat in the living room, surrounded by my friends and put the board together. I sorted the cards and the money, brushed up on the directions and got myself amped up.
But I’m not playing right now.
Because everyone bailed.
Yes. They bailed on playing a damn board game. In our living room.
And its just like.. of course. They don’t feel like playing and so they shall not play.
But the thing is. I didn’t feel like scrubbing someone else’s kitchen gunk in 90 degree heat today. But I did it, because it helped my friends and made their lives easier. And most importantly BECAUSE I SAID I WOULD.
Ugh. You know my mother always told me “Life isn’t fair.”
Still learning that one.