After I wrote that last post a little boy sitting with his family 4 feet away started to retch. His ever concerned parents gave him a NAPKIN to vomit into. I watched in horror, glaring at the parents, who had 3 other adults with them and could have easily took the child to the bathroom or I don’t know maybe the trash can, as they sat and watched him vomit into a flimsy BK napkin while they CONTINUED TO EAT THEIR FRENCH FRIES.

That should have been my sign.

After sojourning home and sleeping a grand total of 45 minutes I departed for the airport again. This time I was decidedly peppy and optimistic. I had a smile on my face the entire (short, really!) 1.5 hour wait in the “Full Service (IRONY ALERT)” line. I put my headphones in my ears and I rocked out. I made friends with the Blanche Devaroux look alike behind me, she was trying to get to DC to spend the holiday with her 2.5 year old granddaughter (sweet much?!) I imparted my wisdom to other passengers around me, sharing what I had learned in my previous line wait. I was fucking cheerful.

When I finally got to the desk I handed him my suitcase and my pseudo weird standby “priority (only to make you feel better) pass” He then informed me that the flight had been canceled.

And I jumped over the counter and strangled him with his jet blue tie.

That’s a lie. I actually choked back tears and tried desperately to get on another flight standby. Any flight really I promise! But all the standby cues were filled. “But I’ve been waiting to fly since MONDAY doesn’t that give me any precedence?!”

Apparently not.

And thus we learn: positive thinking only makes waiting in an extremely long line less hellish and doesn’t actually yield results.

And: I fly out at 6:30 on NEW YEARS DAY.

Grand.

 

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