So I KNOW that from the hours of 6 am to 10 am the HOV carpool lane is for two or more passengers only….
But how do they know really?
I’ve watched many mornings in traffic now, longingly looking into the HOV lane.
There’s no discernable way to keep track of how many passengers are in each car….
How bad would it be if I just….slipped right on in there ya think?
A select few of you out there have seen me really angry.
I mean truly angry.
My “angry” I’ve been told is…pretty damn scary.
I don’t usually yell or scream, though I do raise my voice and I can be downright verbally abusive when I want to be.
Today I went to start my car.
It would not start.
“Strange” I thought. As I had taken extra care to make sure I had not left any lights on when I got out of the car last night.
I then did what all 22 year old girls must do in this situation.
I called my dad.
And then of course after some discussion I called TripleA.
(Who by the way are like the best freakin’ company possible! Everyone I talked to at AAA was SO incredibly nice and accommodating.)
A woman from AAA came out and jumped my battery. Making pleasant small talk about how she needed to buy a new car etc. I explained how I had just bought the car so I was surprised at needing a new battery this soon.
She tested the battery and deemed it defective and advised me to bring it back to the dealership (since I literally bought it under a month ago) and that they should fix the problem for free.
She closed the hood and off she drove after telling me I needed to let the car run for 45 minutes. I called my dad and told him the situation, called the dearler’s service dept and explained it as well.
“Well ok bring the car in.” the service guy said.
Just as I was about to tell him I would the car stared making a horrible sound. And smoke began to come out from under the hood.
I stood there like an idiot paralyzed with fear.
Was it just…dust? (wishful freakin’ thinking Sarah.)
“Ahem? You there?” dealer guy asked impatiently.
“YesI’llBringitIn” I said and then hung up.
Then I called my dad who was like “Sarah you’re an idiot turn the car off!”
Which I did.
He then instructed me to call the dealership again and tell them they needed to send a tow truck and it had best be free.
He offered to make the call but couldn’t do it at the moment and I also figured that at the ripe old age of 22 I could probably fight my own battles.
When I called back the dealer guy was not so nice.
“Its still under the original Honda warranty, bring it to a local Honda dealer.”
“But I literally just bought this car from you guys this month. It should still be under your warranty.”
“Well miss you can bring it here but the first thing we’re gonna do is send it to a Honda Dealer.”
and then. Well then I lost my mind. If any of you have ever worked on a theatrical endeavor with me. Specifically one where I may or may not have been the director….well.. you’ve seen what happened after the poor service guy chose to speak to me like an incompetent child.
I don’t know how I had enough oxygen to say it all in one breath but I spoke 45 miles an hour
“I understand that but I’m certainly not driving the car with smoke coming out from under the hood and it needs to be towed somewhere and I am certainly not going to pay for it because I literally literally literally just bought the car from you guys so something needs to be worked out for me!”
but my wrath didn’t scare dealer guy
“Yeah but you just called me like a minute ago and told me the car was driveable”
and then I pulled out the big guns:
“YES AND WHILE I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH YOU SMOKE STARTED STARTED POURING OUT OF MY HHHOOD
(voice shaking as I am on the verge of hysterical tears. Gotta keep it real.) AND WHILE I WAS LOOKING AT IT YOU IMPATIENTLY ASKED IF I WAS STILL THERE AND I AM REALLY UPSET AND IS THERE MAYBE SOMEONE ABOVE YOU I MIGHT SPEAK TO!?!?!!”
“Uh well I would be the person to talk to m’am.”
And I’m not sure exactly what I said to that, because I was trying very very hard not to cry. But I must have said something to make him understand because he changed his attitude and said he’d be sending out a tow truck (which he had better not charge me for because hoo boy will I feed his balls to wolf as my Grandmama would say.) I’m waiting for the tow truck as we speak. Still shaking and thinking awful things.
Like I must have somehow done something awful to the car (though I don’t recall doing anything wrong.)
Or what if I bought a lemon?
I also am supposed to babysit tonight how the hell am I gonna get there?
Or to work tomorrow?
Or to my damn rescheduled hair appointment on Friday?
I guess I’m just grateful this all happened on my day off.
Hey there silver lining what’s up?
To the nice man in traffic who let me cut in front of him to change lanes when nobody else would let me.
You really made my day!
Another fun thing dear brother taught me today:
As we were participating in a charity walk for my mom’s nursing home I noticed his pants (which admittedly were loaded with my things because yoga pants don’t have pockets so sue me) were falling a little low.
“I guess I better get my emergency belt” said Sam.
“Emergency belt?” I asked, perplexed.
He then pulled out his wallet, and out of the wallet he pulled out a zip tie, which he then wrapped around two of his belt loops.
The kid’s a genius. What can I say?
You’re more than just my home!
You’re the place where I eat my PopChips!
Just spent over an hour at the auto mechanic place trying to get pictures taken of my car for my insurance company.
Because my insurance company doesn’t trust me.
There is no more blind trust where they say “if you get in an accident we’ll fix it!”
No no no.
These days you have to go get pictures taken so that if in the event of an accident they can be like
“Oh I’m sorry we would fix that bumper for ya except you got a tiny little scratch over there that was previous damage to the car soooooo unless you promise us your first born son and pound and a half of pastrami to be paid in 6 increments and sent to us in dried ice then we can’t really help you.”
Anyway. I was already two days late getting the damn pictures taken. I thought I had 2 weeks. Turns out I had 10 days. Which yes, I understand *now* is 2 business weeks. Silly me.
So I went to the place and in their defense they were exceedingly nice.
The camera the insurance company sends to them is literally the first digital camera ever made.
This is what it looked like:
No, your eyes do not deceive you. Yes friends. That right there is a floppy disc!
Literally every floppy disc the poor guy tried would read “format error.”
As if the camera was like
“No, please, just let me die! its past my time!!!!”
They were about to send me home, because they got the floppies directly from the insurance agent and they wouldn’t be able to get any mailed to them quickly enough.
And I can’t even tell you how I spoiled I felt hearing that sentence. Because I live in a world where I can take a picture on my cellular telephone and then email it across the interwebs to be wherever I want in literally 30 seconds. And these guys were going to wait for floppy discs. To arrive by mail.
Just as I was about to leave, defeated by an obsolete piece of technology, Paulie the insurance inspection guy came running up brandishing a floppy that apparently worked.
He snapped two quick photos of the car (onlytwoareyoufuckingkiddingme?) which was ridiculous. For all that drama I wanted a legitimate photoshoot complete with hair and makeup.
BUT it is done. Finished. Complete.
And it only took an hour and a half!
Admitting you’ve been on this dating site for 6 years.
Almost every time I pass a laundromat I think of that one random afternoon we spent together at the Laundry Club.
A massive getting to know you game cleverly disguised as doing laundry and learning lines.
I remember the way my pulse accelerated when you wouldn’t submit to my will and memorize the lines my way. The way you protested my bossiness, oh man I was so into that!
And shoving quarters into the machines.
And hearing your stories.
And your stupid cartoon boxers that were only only only charming because they were yours.
And I’m pretty sure if memory serves you tried to buy me a beverage from the vending machine, and I can’t for the life of me remember if I let you.
I think rather I told you I’d just steal some of whatever you got.
I really loved that afternoon.
And maybe this sounds really strange, but its 3 am so I can’t be blamed.
If I had a time machine, I would go back to that afternoon and I would enjoy it more if that’s possible. I would divulge more, knowing it was a one chance deal.
A perfect Sunday in fall, listening to you talk over the hum of “industrial” rip off washing machines.