I don’t know when I even became this person.
I also find that when I meet someone new, especially someone older than me, they inevitably ask me,
“Oh! So you finished your undergrad that’s great what are you doing now?”
And I have to make sure I take in a nice deep breath because my response is always
“Well I’m working as a full time Nanny right now butI’MALSOAPPLYINGTOGRADUATESHCOOLTHISYEARDON’TJUDGEMEEEEEE”
I don’t know why I can’t just be proud of the fact that I have a job that I enjoy and that I’m saving money.
No, no. That’s not good enough for whatever reason.
The other night I went to see a play and I was seated next to an older couple. They struck up conversation with me and when they heard my age and that I’d just graduated they were pleased to tell me they had a daughter “just my age.”
And I smiled and I looked back down at my program awkwardly wishing the show would start so the conversation could end because immediately I knew where it was headed.
The husband asked me where I went to school and what I majored in and I told him and he seemed impressed.
He told me his daughter had gone to Emerson and majored in film/media and had just landed a job working for a documentary production company.
Again, I smiled. Gritting my teeth as he said, seemingly in slow motion:
“So, land that big dream job yet?”
And I had to sigh and say that no, no I just have a “day job”
And sometimes I think I’ll just go hide away somewhere indefinitely and color in a coloring book.