So I’m starting to see that Ok Cupid and I have a dysfunctional relationship.
I have essentially become some sort of battered woman who keeps taking back her good for nothin’ man. For no real good reason. Other than a deep rooted fear of being single forever perpetuated by every single girl I went to high school/ college with all getting engaged. ALL OF THEM. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING
(MAYBE I AM A LITTLE BUT NOT THAT MUCH.)
Anyway. At this stage in the game my OkC account lies dormant. Guys message me. I read the messages and then 9 out of 10 times I don’t even dignify them with a response. A third of the time I hate the message so much I take a screen shot of it and send it to my dear friend Janelle. That’s about that.
The other night I received a message from a seemingly sane individual WITH the skills to structure a full sentence. He also didn’t mention my looks once in his message which I found refreshing (not to be all “boys only want me for my looks” but I find the majority of ok cupid messages to be related to my appearance.) He snagged my interest and so I actually responded.
Things seemed to be going well after two message exchanges and I was warming to the idea of not hating every Ok Cupid user I ever came across. Then he said this:
“You should give me your digits and we should hang this weekend.”
and call me a picky Paula but I was instantly turned off.
This guy was a full three years older than me and that’s officially “mid twenties adult” territory.
I don’t want anyone to ask for my “digits” and I do not want to “hang.”
I want to be asked out properly. I want to go to a restaurant or a bar or something and I want to have a beverage and speak to another human face to face and maybe even make some eye contact. It doesn’t even have to be an expensive place. A gin and tonic is essentially the same anywhere you go. Except Mike’s in Davis Square. Consider this a warning their G&T’s taste like Pine Sol
I don’t want to hang. I don’t want to watch a movie on the couch in your parent’s basement, I did that enough when I was 15. I also don’t want to go sit outdoors somewhere on a park bench. Or go to laser tag or a fucking arcade.
Now. I know that there is a simple solution to this:
-Get off Ok Cupid and go meet someone out in the big wide world. (ADMITTEDLY HARD WHEN YOU HAVE NO SINGLE GIRL FRIENDS. GAY BOY TOYS MAKE SURPRISINGLY BAD WINGMEN. WHO KNEW?)
So I looked at the message and I was sad. I thought to myself “Well I could give him a chance…” But I’ve learned when it comes to internet dating a “chance” can be one too many and its usually best to just go with your gut instinct. I didn’t have the emotional wherewithal to shoot him down either…
So I just canceled my account. Problem solved.