58. I’ll never wear shorts. Not ever. Not even in 100 degree temperatures. No matter how many pairs I trick myself into buying summer after summer.

59. I generally don’t mind people looking at my breasts as if they are a side show act in a traveling circus UNLESS I’m waiting in line for my iced coffe. That is sacred time.

60. The level of frizz on my hair on a rainy, muggy day is an almost direct correlation with how annoyed I am.

61. One the many titles of my memoir will be: Desperately Seeking “Laundry in Unit.”