If you asked me to describe myself in previous years I would have never called myself a “perfectionist” because in many ways I am not. A lot of things, especially the cleaning are “good enough.”
But I’m noticing as I become more adult-like that when it comes to expectations for myself (unless they involve math) my bar is set extremely high.
As I documented yesterday morning in my very sick this will make a great blog post I’ve been violently ill for 7 hours straight haze, I had a stomach bug yesterday.
I venture that the stomach bug is still in my system.
After spending saturday night constantly waking from a deep sleep to defile my bathroom, I spent most of yesterday sleeping. Not even willfully. I lay down in my bed to rest and watch Nashville on Hulu and at some point I turned away from the laptop and just Rip Van Winkled that shit. I just fell asleep. Throughout the day, judging by my iphone, I would wake for the amount of seconds required to return a text message from people asking if I was alive and then would promptly fell back to sleep. I slept until 9pm. When I finally woke up I was an emotional mess and extremely dehydrated. After a tearful conversation with my father he advised me to take a sick day today, something I had already been considering myself.
But I never take sick days. Never. I know that this is bad practice, but the sheer fact is that I get sick kind of often. Not throw up all night sick, but definitely sinus infection, cold, cough, whatever sick. I work with babies and kids and tend to catch things.
Though this year I’ve been taking a daily zinc supplement and hoo boy do those WORK. Anyway, I reason that if I took sick days I’d always be leaving people in the lurch, and also as a nanny it is very hard to take a sick day usually. Because you are the child care and if you take a sick day your boss has to take a sick day and the whole thing is just a mess.
But today I had my internship and I was terrified I’d sleep right through it, or I’d wake up in the middle of the night sick and it would be too late to call in sick so I made a grown up decision, called my supervisor and let her know I was too sick to come in. I instantly felt a little better because isn’t that the way? You call out sick because you feel miserable but then you feel better the second you call in sick? Though when I went to bed for the second time last night as I lay there I was acutely aware of the fact that my body feelt like I did crunches all night and/or got rolled over by a truck. “You’re sick!” all my friends listening to me anxiously wonder if I shouldn’t have called out say, “even if you feel better take a day off to rest and recover/you’re probably still contagious don’t go get everyone sick!”
Including myself, three out of the seven guidance faculty at the school had to call in sick from “throwing up all night” it seems like this damn thing is making the rounds like lightning. And I just feel awful about it! Because in my mind I’m perfect Sarah who is always responsible and never calls in sick and can totally handle it.
But today I’m do homework in bed and maybe try to eat some solid foods and drink some liquid because I haven’t peed in 14 hours Sarah #dehydrated.