Oh internet.

Here are three things that suck in no particular order.

1. Driving all over creation for very specific ingredients for a very specific homemade holiday gift you have grand plans of making. Putting said specific ingredients in cart at fancy schmancy far away to travel to store AND THEN FORGETTING ONE CRUCIAL ITEM IN THE BASKET AND NOT DISCOVERING YOUR ERROR UNTIL YOU SIT IN RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC FOR AN HOUR AND TWENTY MINUTES AND FINALLY GET HOME.

2. This:


I don’t care if you were raised by wolves, if you drive drunk and kill four people you go to jail. You do not pass go, you do not cry about how you had too many privileges because your parents are wealthy, you simply go to jail. Maybe for a very long time. If this was a young person of color raised by a single mother who had to work two jobs and was never home you think the judge would say “aw well his mom didn’t teach him better.” HECK NAH. I actually can’t even type any more about this it makes me so boiling mad with rage.

3.  Career Counseling with Some Students

Me: Okay! So you’re saying none of the 43 career results from your Career Interest Profiler look interesting to you…..none at all.

Student: nah.

Me: *breathing deeply* hmmmm okay, well is there a career you have in mind that isn’t on that list?

Student: *shrugs.* *lets out small amount of teenage breath, looks as if I am threatening to pull her fingernails off as opposed to discussing potential career options for the quickly approaching future.*

Me: Well, what would you say your interests are?

Student: I dunno.

Me: What do you mean you don’t know? What are you interested in…what do you like doing?

Student: nothin’

Me: Okay…what do you do when you get home from school?

Student: nothin’

Me: Nothing? You must do something..

Student: I do my homework.

Me: Okay…and what else. (ALSO LOL WHO ARE YOU KIDDING I SEE YOUR GRADES ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN AND YOU HAVE A 64 IN ALL YOUR CLASSES I WANT TO SCREAM. YOU HAVEN’T PASSED IN AN ASSIGNMENT WITH ANY SORT OF REGULARITY ALL YEAR Also on a serious note, teachers enter all assignments and grades into a computer program now which means at any point I can look up whether or not they turned something in and what grade they received, providing the teacher keeps it up to date. The students know I can do this and yet they lie to me, over and over and over.)

Student: I don’t do anything, Miss.

Me: So…you just do you homework and then you walk over the wall and plug yourself in to charge your robot batteries and power down until school the next day then? I said this verbatim. I’m not kidding.

Student: *trying not to smile.* basically, Miss.

Me: Okay then..



Sometimes at this point I wish I was like Willy Wonka or some shit and I could be like

“Uh oh boys and girls! Your apathy is flagrant and unacceptable *takes out pitch pipe, sings* Oompa Loompa Doopity Doo I have another puzzle for you. What do you do with apathetic bums, staring at you like they are nothing but dumb! I don’t know but they must be shown WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU’RE GROWNNNNNN you’llendupworkinginMcDonaldsssssss Oompa Loompa Doopity Doo!”