When I was a kid and I misbehaved or had a tantrum or got caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to my mom was big about “turning over a new leaf.”

I think especially because when I got caught doing something bad I would cry a lot out of guilt (and probably frustration at getting caught.)

Mom would propose we just turn over a new leaf.

Once I recall feeling particularly bad about something and wailing in the backseat of the van “I will turn over a new tree mom!”

Forget the leaf man I needed the whole damn tree of new chances.

I’m writing this entry on what feels like a new computer, but isn’t. The hard drive is even the same, the only thing new is a nice new cable to attach to the hard drive to whatever thingy it gets attached to. In the process though the whole hard drive was wiped clean. I backed up a fair amount of my computer, but not everything. My pictures and music are safe and sound, but unfortunately I lost a lot of documents. Most of those documents were crap from undergrad, I think I also lost a fair amount of past grad school papers. I’m not sure I was going to ever need those things again, I guess we’ll see. I lost some saved instant message conversations from ex boyfriends past which is not a loss at all really and more like a blessing in disguise. 

With my last *fingers crossed* semester of grad school fast approaching I’m trying to summon the courage to apply to some jobs (holy shit am I scared to even start a cover letter.) With every wishing opportunity I have I try to focus on the goal, landing a real job. Starting a career.

I’m terrified I’ll fail and I’m excited I’ll succeed and I don’t even know, ya know? 

Anyway I guess the new lease on an old laptop is exhilarating and encouraging.



….only sort of kidding.