When I was in elementary school I looked forward to our annual school fundraiser held at Roller World. It was so, so, fun and didn’t require being outside or sweating like Field Day.

One year though I was sick the week of the Roller World Fundraiser. I think I had the flu or strep throat or something. All I know is that my mother told me that if my fever was gone by the fundraiser I could go and if it wasn’t then I had to stay home with grandmama while she took my little brother to the fundraiser.

The day of the fundraiser came, I swore up and down and I felt better but my mom took my temperature I still had a fever. I then proceeded to fling myself upon her bedroom floor and throw the most epic tantrum, I was old enough that I can remember this tantrum vividly and therefore was way too old to be throwing a tantrum in this way. I wailed that it “WASN’T FAIIIIR” Partially from missing my beloved fundraiser and partially from being disappointed in myself for being sick.

This past Friday I went to my doctor to have her look at some weird lumps in my neck. Doesn’t that just sound like a blast? I had called the dr. half hoping they’d be like “Oh I’m sure that’s nothing don’t worry about it!” But they weren’t. So in I went to have the neck lumps palpated and measured and other lovely fun things.

Turns out they are enlarged lymph nodes.

“I think you probably just have a little virus as a result of working with little kids in the winter.” said the doctor.

I had woken up with a very scratchy throat that morning and I liked this diagnosis much better than any other which might have lymph nodes involved, ya know? Also, do yourself a favor and don’t google it. Don’t be like me. But other than the scratchy throat I felt totally fine so it seemed odd I would have a virus.

Anyway as Friday wore on I felt worse and worse until I felt like a truck had run me over. Maverick and I had long standing plans to go visit friends of ours and me being in denial decided I’d pop a cold pill and power through.

Maybe not my brightest decision. When I woke up Saturday morning I felt miserable, unsurprisingly. I went to LPP’s swim class and felt a little better as my cold medicine kicked in. It felt nice to be in the pool and its impossible to feel too bad when there’s an adorable toddler doggy paddling in your arms.

Maverick and I went and got a late brunch and I was ravenous. I ate my eggs and toast and homefries and some bacon and drank a big coffee. I was sure I was fine. After brunch we hopped on the T to go to Harvard Sq to go ice skating, a date I had planned all the way back in December when I bought us the voucher off of Gilt City. Once we were on the T I started to feel less than ideal. I rationalized with myself I’d feel better once we got there.

I didn’t.

We went to the COOP which is usually my favorite place to be in Harvard Sq but I suddenly felt like the heat radiating out of my face was going to set the place on fire. I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet and tried to talk myself out of feeling sick. When my weeks are so rushed and busy doing a million things I really live for my weekends and the thought of canceling our plans devastated me. I wanted to throw myself on the floor and have a tantrum.

I sort of did. I went and got a book and sat down on the floor in the corner, my back up against the wall. Finally I turned to Maverick and asked him, “do I feel warm to you?”

He admitted that yes, I did. We decided we’d go home and I immediately set upon feeling guilty that I had ruined our plans. I was so so mad at my body for being sick on a precious saturday.

We ended up staying in my apartment, in my bed, watching documentary films and eating popsicles.

It wasn’t half bad after all

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