“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
― Lao Tzu
The entire trip had been pretty spontaneous to begin with. We knew we’d spend Sunday together and that the weather was supposed to be nice. One of us mentioned Newport Rhode Island and we’d never been. An adventure hatched and with minimal planning (who needs to plan when you have Yelp and an Iphone these days anyways?) we set off around 11am, open road ahead and only one pull off the road pee break (which was totally my fault.)
We toured the Breakers Mansion which was pretty incredible for this real estate/Downton Abbey Junkie. As we headed to the tour though Mav spotted a sign pointing toward something called “Cliffwalk.” He got so excited seeing that sign. Mav is an outdoorsy person. He likes to hike and climb things, meanwhile the word “hike” to me immediately evokes PTSD from watching too much Global Guts as a child of the 90’s.
Mostly I am lazy, but also I am overly cautious when it comes to physical activity. A natural propensity toward trepidation, or a Mother constantly living in fear that I’d get hurt, lost, raped, kidnapped etc, nature or nurture? Who knows.
We went to the cliff walk and after a short distance we saw that it was technically “closed.” We saw many people walked toward us from the closed direction and Maverick asked them how bad it was past the closed sign. They promised us it was fine. I was skeptical. I tried hard not to voice my skepticism because I always wanna be cool easy breezy beautiful cover girl girlfriend. I was also wearing ballet flats made of pillows of nothing, of course.
I went before Maverick, stepping over the haphazard piece of wood with the neon orange CLOSED.
The walk was fine, and not really even treacherous.
It was easily the most beautiful part of our day. We ended by a small beach and got off the “cliff” to go walk in the sand and dip our feet in the water and gasp again and again while it lapped up at our toes. I found beautiful stones and some sea glass and put them in an Altoid tin in my purse. It was nothing short of everyday pedestrian magic.
Later, after some less magical but still fulfilling stops at Panera and the Yankee Candle Semi Annual Sale, we strolled along the bustling streets of Newport and Mav remarked how awesome it was that I was willing to make things happen when it comes to adventuring.
I thought, for a second, I haven’t always been this way. When did I change?
I am not a spontaneous person.
I love plans almost to a fault.
But when he says “let’s go here” I just can’t help but follow, or at the very least research a bargain on plane tickets.
I think it has something to do with knowing he’ll never let anything bad happen, or if it does at the very least we’d be together.
There’s courage in that.