9:00pm: I think tomorrow is the day I’m going to start going to the gym! It’ll be so good! I’ll get all my stuff together tonight beforehand and that way I can just get up and go in the morning!! Yes this is going to be so positive! Go me!!
9:15pm: hmmm I’ll probably just check Facebook…
10:41pm: Shit if I’m going to the gym I need to wake up in like…6ish hours. I guess I better get off the computer pack my stuff and go to bed….
11:25pm: ok, going to get off the computer for real.
11:40pm: Aghhhhh WHERE THE MOTHER EFF IS MY SPORTS BRA?!?!?
12:00am: Whatever this old tank top is going to have to do. Time to get some shut eye.
12:15am: I can’t sleep.
12:30am: I can’t sleep.
12:45am: I cannot sleep.
1:00am: oh my god brain shut up I have to go to the gym in like four and a half hours!!!! I have to be an independent woman! Beyonce is counting on me to be strong enough to make the millions, bear the children then get back to business!!!!!!!!!
1:30am: I…. I just want to sleep.
1:34am: well,maybe I won’t sleep. Laying here isn’t so bad. Sleep just isn’t in the cards for me tonight! Whatever! I don’t care!!
1:42am: Bed? Bed! I couldn’t go to bed! My head is much too light to try to Lay it downnnnnnnmmmmmm! Sleep? Sleep! I couldn’t sleep tonight!!! Not for allllll the jewelssss in the crown!!!! I could have danced all nighttttttttttttttt
5:30am: SHUT YOUR DIRTY WHORE MOUTH ALARM! I SHALL SNOOZE YOU.
5:40am: oh my god I can’t do this. I’ll go to the gym tomorrow instead.
5:41am: oh wait, I already updated my status on Facebook to say I was going to the gym before work. What if someone asks about it and I have to say I didn’t go?
6:03am: oh my god the sun isn’t even up yet. This is just god awful.
6:27am: ok, this sunrise isn’t the worst thing that ever happened.
6:38am: wow the gym isn’t too crowded, that’s kind of nice. Look at all the torture machines I can choose from!!! The choices are endless! I am the queen of this Planet Fitness!!!!
6:39am: what do you mean you have to take my membership photo? Do you know I was up all night tossing turning and singing Julie Andrews broadway classics?!? Do you?!?!?!?
6:40am: THERE IS MY OWN PERSONAL TV ON MY ELLIPTICAL MACHINE! HECK YES!
6:41am: oh my god I hate running.
6:43am: Just watching the news! Let’s pretend you’re not running!! You’re just watching this boring news report!
6:45am: I am so tired. I am going to go to sleep right after work.
7:10am: oh… Ok running a mile isn’t that hard… But I think I am done now.
7:15am: hm. Locker rooms are gross.
7:17am: dear shower, how the hell am I supposed to clean my body if you keep automatically shutting off every five seconds?!?!?!
7:21am: wow, I feel so awake despite not having any coffee yet! Is this…..real life???
7:45am: hm there’s no line at the Dunkins….I deserve a coffee! I got up before the sun!
7:50am: oh my god endorphins plus caffeine. WATCH OUT BITCHES I CAN TAKE ON THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8:00am: I’m probably going to sleep in tomorrow though.