*So this post was originally written yesterday evening but then wasn’t posted due to the fact that my internet went out mid blogging. Just because I missed a day isn’t going to get me down! My track record is still pretty stellar if I do say so myself!!!*
I have practically no time to do this while I’m at the theater which this week has been roughly 9am to 8pm. I’m trying to get better about getting up with enough time to eat breakfast but its difficult. During the day I typically eat a yogurt (if I’m lucky enough to have a legit lunch break) and then other sundry “on the go” type items. Sugar snap peas, peanut butter cracker sandwiches, string cheese, pretzels, and bananas. These are delicious and some of them are at least marginally healthy but they are by no means actual “lunch.” I also get paid so little and not often enough so I’ve been rationing all of these snacks to the max. I need to figure out a better plan for the rest of the summer because I’ve been perpetually hungry/nauseous (hungauseus?) the past two days. Then I get home late and gorge myself so that’s not much better.
In terms of like, fun things that I actually have time to eat, I’ve been trying to take advantage of all things “Seattle” that I can. So far has consisted mainly of farmers market produce. Mainly strawberries. Ok. I have a strawberry problem. THEY ARE BETTER ON THE WEST COAST I SWEAR! I’ve been buying them by the pound and then just eating them all in one sitting. I feel myself getting so full and yet I keep picking up more berries and putting them in my mouth. Can’t stop. Won’t stop.
Pizza here blows. Sorry West Coaster’s but it just…it isn’t that good. I mean its not horrible because duh it’s pizza and even the worst pizza is still pretty good
(like sex! thank you D. Grossman I steal from your raunchy one act.) But there is just something about it that isn’t…delicious. The first problem is that most of the pizza places here do that artisan super thin crust baked in a 500 degree oven imported from Sicily shit. With all manner of “rustic yet organic” toppings. And when I order pizza to be delivered I just want some yummy chewy crust and spicy sweet tomato sauce and cheesey goodness. Ya know? I suspect the first thing I do when I get home is order a pizza from somewhere distinctly Massachusetts Italian.
I ordered a pizza from a “Pizza House” style place which was greek pizza (you know the type with the spoungey crust?) and it was ok but not great. They do this weird thing here were if you order a pizza with toppings, there is a layer of cheese, a layer of toppings, and then a bonus blanket of cheese over the top to keep everything secure. While this seems like a good, scrumptious, idea as I type it out, let me assure you its cheese overload and contributes to a lot of grease. Not to mention overcooked vegetable toppings. But maybe that’s just me and my aversion to mushy veggies.
One plus side about Seattle food is that literally every single bar has happy hours, and really decently priced one’s at that. When you can get a fancy cocktail and various bar snacks (before your “mandatory” intern workshop after you’ve worked a full day with no breaks yay) for under 10 bucks, well it’s a come to Jesus moment.
SPEAKING OF JESUS:
Ok. So when I first came out here I signed up for a couple of “meet people” type websites. I never expected much to come of it, it was just sort a way to pass the time. There’s a chat feature on the site and most of people who send me instant messages are ridiculous losers. The other night I got a message from a guy reading, “A fellow Jew! How are you?!” and because his message seemed sincere we started chatting. We talked about a bunch of things and eventually the conversation turned back to where it had started, religion. He revealed to me that he was a modern orthodox Jew and asked if I was practicing. I told him that no, ever since high school I’d pretty much all but lost my faith.
“Are you interested in regaining it?” he asked
and even though I hadn’t really given it much thought up until then I found myself typing the words: “Yes actually, a little bit.”
“Can I call you?” he typed.
And internet of course I was hesitant because ummmm weird guy from the internet duh but I gave him my phone number and before I knew it we were talking about religion and I’m explaining to him why I don’t believe in God anymore and he’s telling me he understands completely and then…I’m crying.
I’m crying because I finally have found someone who has gone through what I’ve gone through, who understands almost entirely how I feel.
We’ve been talking every night since, his name is Eitan (pronounced A-TAN) and he’s an amazing person. Tomorrow we finally meet in person and I’m a little nervous but mostly excited. Really Eitan deserves his own post and soon I’ll have to write an entire one dedicated to him. Whether or not it’ll be friendship or something more remains to be seen. I’m not sure it could be
So Pat called me recently. Yep. There that is. And internet, I called him back. I called him back even though I was terrified to do so. And to be honest I’m really glad I did. We talked for 4 hours and just caught each other up on our lives. While we talked I was surprised by how much I still love him and feel for him and felt relieved to know how he was doing. It was like my life had been out of sync and now finally I feel normal again. Weird as it sounds. Of course putting this under the title of “Love” I may have scared a few people and I apologize. I don’t mean to write this to suggest that we are getting back together, we are not, just returning to a place of friendship.
And of course when I told some people their immediate response was
“But are you like….okay?” (shout out to my girl Linda!)
And right now, the answer is yes. Yes I am. Happy even. I feel like us talking like this is the closure I needed so desperately. And now maybe I can really start to move on, by which I mean in a healthy I’m single lets have fun way and not like…must find entire catalog of men to distract me from the fact that I’m still hurt and in love with you!
*Doc, I’m sure there are many typos on here for you to enjoy, have at em’ and let me know!*